21 Sacraments Game Show
by JollyDoll
Summary: 42 Contestants. 21 Survive. 21 Die. 21 Sacraments Game Show could be your death. Hosted by Walter Sullivan.
1. Cybil Bennet vs Mira the Dog

**Author Note:** I am back with a new thrilling humour fic. Run for your lives boys and girls, Walter Sullivan has his own game show. The star prize getting off the show alive. Witness 21 gruesome deaths. 21 Sacraments Game Show is a The Terrapin Production.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Silent Hill or the characters Walter Sullivan, Cybil Bennett and Mira the Dog. At least I think the dog ending dog is called Mira. Damn my forgetfulness to hell!

****

Inside a studio in Downtown Silent Hill a group of Silent Hill's most famous creatures are hard at work. There are Pendulums and Demon Birds hovering above the set holding lights. How the Pendulums are holding the lights is a mystery. The monster of a crew is hoping they do not drop them. The Mannequins are standing by the cameras, drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. Yet another mystery, how are they drinking and eating without mouths. "We drink and eat through our arses." A mannequin, with the name tag 'Bob' on his right upper leg, hollers.

Now that the mannequin known as Bob has taken away some of the mystery lets look at the creatures that are not working. There is a bunch of Insane Cancer's sleeping on their backs. Snoring loudly enough to wake the dead. Their excess flesh vibrating with each breath they take. Quite the horrifying sight if I do say so myself. There is an Abstract Daddy standing on all fours as a Puppet Nurse, a Closer, a Demon Child, Leonard and Victim 13121 are having a game of Poker. While this is happening a group of Ghost Babies are tormenting the Sniffer Dogs that are trying to nap.

As all this is happening the audience starts filing in and taking their seats. It appears the audience consists of creatures that have already been mentioned with a few new additions. There seems to be Bobblehead Nurses, Patients, Straight Jackets and Numb Bodies. And there of course are two forms of the God. One is menacely floating above the audience, striking away who gives her a strange look. The other is busy knowing on the ruins of Claudia's dress at the side of the stage.

A blast of cheesy music starts playing and out of nowhere appears our host Mr. Walter Sullivan. He is wearing his usual blood stained trenchcoat and appears to have forgotten his pants. Walter bows to the audience, mooning an unsuspecting Puppet Nurse. "Hello Ladies and Gentlemonsters. Welcome to this thrilling brand new game show, 21 Sacraments Game Show." Walter announces, the '21 Sacraments Game Show' is said in unison with the audience. Walter smiles into one of the cameras.

"At the 21 Sacraments Game Show we can not guarantee you'll leave with your life. All contestants are aware of this." Walter says with an evil smile on his face. Walter moves behind a desk on the stage and sits down. "And here is the Haunted Borley Mansions narrator to introduce this weeks victims."

"Thank you, Walter." A boring bodiless voice says. "Our first victim this week, Walter, is a police officer from Brahams, the next town over. Everyone give a depressed greeting to Cybil Bennett." Cybil appears out of nowhere with a gun in hand and looking rather confused. She looks towards Walter and points her gun at him. "I've got a gun and I know how to use it." She announces.

Walter nods his head and holds up a bloody spoon. "I have a spoon and I know how to it." He announces and plunges the spoon into his neck. His eyes roll up and then he collapses on the desk in front of him. Cybil sighs and looks about confused once again.

"Now that Walter is passed out lets introduce the second victim for this week." The boring bodiless voice speaks again. "This ball of fluff took control of James Sunderland's adventure in Silent Hill. Please give a depressed greeting to everyone's favourite dog, Mira the Dog." Mira the Dog appears out of nowhere and jumps around happily. At this the audience cheers, the Straight Jackets vomit acid and Walter coos at the dog. Cybil looks like she is offended that the dog got a better response than her.

Walter, minus the spoon in the neck, gestures for his two victims to take a seat and once again gives an evil smile towards the camera. "The rules of the game are simple. The loser dies and the winner lives. You signed a contract saying you know the risks and its tough shit if you change your mind. Final rule is everything is fair in a game of survival. Understood?" Walter asks. Cybil sighs again and Mira the Dog barks happily.

"Are you ready to play 21 Sacraments?" Walter says in a cheerful voice that makes him sound even more disturbing than usual. Mira the Dog barks in response while Cybil shrugs and decides to hope for the best. After all what sort of moron would lose to a dumb dog. The audience applauds, the Straight Jackets stomping their feet on the ground since they have no arms.

"The first question is nice and simple. Any moron could answer, even Henry." Walter starts while looking from Mira to Cybil and back to Mira. Mira barks at Walter as if to tell him to hurry and ask the question. Cybil appears to have lost all interest in the game and staring into space. Now who is on drugs? Walter nods his head and carries on. "Pyramid Head's dog recently died a tragic death." The entire audience laughs at this. After all they are just a bunch of heartless monsters that love death. "Tell me exactly how did the dog meet its fate?"

Cybil has dropped off to sleep and is snoring while sucking at her thumb. Mira on the other hand is growling and whimpering the answer to Walter's question. Walter gives a short sob and gives Mira a thumbs up. "That's correct. Eddie did sit on poor old Pyramid Dog. May that dog rest in peace." Walter gives another sob and wipes his nose on his trenchcoat sleeve, while Mira whimpers some more. As this is happening a crying Pyramid Head runs onto the stage. "May my little Pyramid Dog rest in peace." He shouts as two Closer monsters with 'Sercurity' written on their backs pulls him off the stage.

Cybil snaps out of her slumber and looks at Pyramid Head. "What's with that red pyramid thing?" Walter shakes his head to answer while Mira cocks her head to the right. "Next question, what is the one line Harry Mason uses over and over again?" Cybil perks up, she knows the answer. How could she not? She spent hours in Silent Hill with that moron. "Have you seen a little girl around here? Short, black hair. Just turned seven last month." Cybil shouts the answer in excitement. She most certainly has got this correct.

"Incorrect. That was correct eighteen years ago. It also is not 'Eddie has builders arse.' The correct answer is 'Heather, get me some cheesecake.' I'm giving Mira the point since there was some effort in that answer." Walter says. Cybil stares at him in shock while Mira barks happily. It's unbelievable; Cybil is losing to a dog. A damn dog. "Right I'm bored with asking questions. Next round is killing a Sniffer Dog." Walter announces.

**5 Minutes Later**

We find Walter and our two contestants in a bullet proof glass booth with two Sniffer Dogs. Cybil is holding a gun in her hand, there is a gun on the floor in front of Mira. "This part is quite simple." Walter starts as some Straight Jackets begin vomiting acid again. "You just have to kill the Sniffer Dog. For every bullet you use, you lose a point. You have 15 points added onto the points you already have. You also have 15 bullets. Good luck."

Cybil shrugs. This is too easy. Just point and pull the trigger. Three bullets at least. A cop should surely be able to kill a dog. Cybil raises the gun and shoots. The bullet hits one of the Sniffer Dogs in the side. The dog charges at Cybil as she shoots at it again. It stops for a moment and then begins charging. Cybil shoots it again. Six bullets later and the dog is dead. Cybil walks smugly out of the glass booth.

While all that was happening, Mira choose to do what it does best. Screw with James Sunderland. Pushing down the lever on a nearby computer, Mira sits back and relaxes. Within a second James comes in equipped with a hunting rifle. James takes aim at the Sniffer Dog that is now eating the dead one. He shoots the dog and the dog dies instantly. Quickly searching the booth for any useful and finding nothing, James leaves. Mira continues to relax.

**Another 5 Minutes Later**

Mira is busy scratching. Cybil is trying to work out how that damn dog is still winning. "Okay, person and dog I have the final scores. Cybil Bennett has 9 points. While Mira the Dog has 17 points." Walter announces not sounding quite as happy as he was earlier. He clearly has just discovered he has forgotten his pants. Least he isn't mooning innocent people "Now Mira has the honour of killing Cybil." Walter announces clearly excited. It is very evident that he is extremely excited at the prospect of someone's death.

Mira barks happily and head towards the same computer as mentioned earlier. Mira pushes a button and pulls another lever. Within a few seconds Maria appears with a revolver in her hand. Cybil is looking at the dog confused and with her back to Maria. Another second later brings the sound of five gunshots. Maria is now holding a smoking revolver and is leaving the stage. Cybil is dead with a bullet hole in the back of her head. Maria is not the best shot in the world.

With a sigh of satisfaction Walter begins. "I always hated her. As promised Mira gets to leave, life in tact. Cybil on the other has just had an unfortunate accident. What a pity. Tune in next time for 21 Sacraments Game Show." Some more crap music begins playing as Walter goes in search of pants. "Damn bitch got blood on my favourite bloody trenchcoat."

Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show – Bobby Randolph vs. Douglas Cartland.


	2. Bobby Randolph vs Douglas Cartland

**Author Note:** I don't understand why cats hate dogs. I mean it is just pointless. A bit like this author note.

**Disclaimer:** For the third fucking time I don't own Silent Hill or the characters Walter Sullivan, Bobby Randolph or Douglas Cartland. They belong to Konami. I also don't own The Pyramid Head Show and its producer. They belong to TheTruesonofJenova.

**Another Author Note:** This is my third attempt at this chapter.

* * *

Once again we are back in the studios of Downtown Silent Hill. As usual the creatures of the town are busy working on the set of 21 Sacraments Game Show. Two Numb Bodies are standing behind a refreshments table. Their job is simple; offer refreshments to the creatures and humans. It's a simple job and does not involve the use of arms. After all the Numb Bodies do not have arms. Evolution screwed the poor buggers over when it came to arms. They do not even have teeth. Their only form of defence is by headbutting their enemies, best known as Heather Mason. Worst of all it take numourous headbutts to actually cause some damage. Evolution well and truely screwed over those poor buggers but I digress.

As the Numb Bodies continue to serve refreshments; Walter Sullivan enters the cleaners cupboard better known as his changing room. Walter is running rather late you see. He has just been in a rather shady meeting with none other than Doctor Micheal Kaufmann. What was said and done is unknown. What was said and done does not need to be known. It was just your everyday unusual meeting between one homicidal-evil-bastard and one drug-dealing-bastard. The good doctor would never try to sway things his way now would he. He is a fine doctor after all.

As was said Walter has just entered the cleaners cupboard/changing room. He is currently selecting what he should wear for todays show. It is going to be a tough decision. His decisions are the blue blood-stained trench coat or the blue blood-stained trench that he wore when he killed George Rosten.

It alsoseems Walter has already raided a wardrobe before arriving at his changing room. To be precise he raided Father Vincents. He is currently wearing Vincent's pant, white long sleeved shirt and vest. It is unknown whether or not he is wearing Vincent's underwear. Which would explain why Vincent, wearing ritual robes, is trying to convince Leonard Wolfe that Walter is a non-believer.

With a sigh Walter chooses the blue blood-stained trench coat that he wore when he killed George Rosten. As he is slipping into the trench coat the familier cheesy theme music for his show begins.

Walter rushes out of the cupboard and heads in the opposite direction of the set. He runs down the corridor until he is finally in front of a large box. On the the side of the box _'Walter's Toys'_ is written. Walter opens the box and starts digging through it. He first pulls out two sub-machines guns, followed by a pipe and finally the infamous spoon. He quickly looks over his _'toys'_ before picking up the spoon and running back in the direction he came from.

Just as the annoying theme music ends, Walter arrives on the set. Out of breath Walter gives the audience a small wave. He is then tackled from behind by a rather odd man wearing a buisness suit. The man begins beating Walter with a briefcase that he just so happened to be carrying. Walter pushes the man off and jumps up, at the same time pulling out his trusty spoon of doom. The man notices he is about to fight a battle he will lose and decides to give up.

"I am the producer of The Pyramid Head Show." The man announces while holding his hands up in defeat. "I was meant to beef up the Pyramid Head Show. I couldn't be arsed so I decided to kill the competition instead. Please forgive me for I am a weakling. Please don't kill me." The producer begs Walter.

"Meet me in my room after the show." Walter says as a small yet very sinister smile appears on his face. The Pyramid Head Show producer scuttles away leaving Walter to his adoring audience. Well more like a bunch of insane, impatient creatures who want blood and want it right now.

"Welcome to another edition of 21 Sacraments Game Show." Walter says overly happily to the now not so angry audience. "We had to sack the Haunted Borley Mansion narrator. He kept egging the Insane Cancers. They were offended. We had no choice. So I'll be introducing the contestants this time." Walter says sounding far from amused by this turn of events.

"The first contestant for today comes all the way from the spot I killed him. He is friends with two other victims and enjoys stuff about the paranormal and occult. Give a horrible welcome to Bobby Randolph." A husky looking black teenaged boy walks slowly onto the set. He looks rather dazed. The second he sees Walter he shrieks in fear and hides behind a nearby Closer. The Closer, not too impressed by this, picks Bobby up and throws him over to Walter.

Walter looks at Bobby and smiles. It could almost pass for a smile of sympathy. Of course since Walter is getting close to strangling the poor boy once again the smile is most certainly not that. "I've already killed you once, so I won't be today." Walter says to the boy. "But that doesn't mean our second contestant for today won't kill you. Nobody will cry over this guys grave. His hobbies include following girls in malls in just a trench coat and boxers, selling fish on the sly and shooting his offspring. Please give a yippy-yi-yay to Douglas Cartland."

Douglas struts onto the set wearing nothing but his boxers. He does his usual Superman pose just as a mannequin squirts tomatoe sauce at him by accident of course. Walter shakes his head and mutters something about it going to be a long night under his breath.

"The first round as usual is the question round. Are you happy Douglas and 02121?" Walter asks our two unfortunate contestants. Douglas nods his head like those nodding dogs found in the back of cars. Bobby stares at Walter with a look of horror and fascination. Could Walter be the red devil? Could he know who the mother of God is? Is he really Batman? All these questions are currently floating through the mind of Bobby Randolph. No one said Bobby was bright when he was alive.

"First question of this round. It is once again nice and simple." Walter thinks for a moments "Well maybe not nice. It is very easy though. Although it would bea little too hard for Harry Mason. The question is: What is 2145 divided by 96? I'll give you a second to think about it." Walter looks between the two contestants. Douglas is busy working out the answer on his fingers and toes, while Bobby is still looking Walter in horror but the fascination has gone. "Times up. Answer me now." Walter announces.

Douglas stops counting on his fingers and toes. He looks up and with a look of confusion on his face. "Er...I'll take a guess. The answer is 22.34375." Douglas answers, quite uncertain about the answer he has given. Bobby suddenly shudders for no reason. Walter nods his head.

"No, the answer is not a sudden shudder. The answer is 22.34375. Douglas gets one point." Walter looks at Douglas as if he is pondering something. Possibly how to kill the sea-smelling-detective. Most likely involving a chainsaw and a box of unholy instrumants. Walter points his index finger at Douglas. "Are you really called Douglas?" Walter asks. "You look like a Julian to me."

Douglas steps back and holds up his hands as if he were surrendering. "My name is Douglas Cartland. I'm a detective." Douglas says going into his usual Superman pose. As usual something ruines the pose; Bobby sneezing on Douglas. Douglas wipes away the mucus that came with the sneeze.

"As I was saying the scores are Douglas with two points and Bobby with zero." Walter says glaring at Bobby - who is now once again staring at Walter in horror. "Is Bobby going to actually do anything? or just be a lazy bastard and stare?" Walter asks to no one. Douglas looks at Bobby and then prods him in the cheek. "Nope. Just going to be a lazy bastard. You'll be lucky if he moves." Douglas announces. At this point Bobby falls face first to the floor.

Walter shrugs. "Okay, once again, as I was saying the score is three points to Douglas and zero to Bobby." Walter says this as two Mothbats pick up Bobby by the back of his coat. The Mothbats hover while gripping Bobby to make sure he stays standing this time. "Okay. Next question; In the first edition of 21 Sacraments Game Show Cybil Bennett died. How did that bitch die?"

Douglas just shrugs, Bobby continues to be held up by the Mothbats and Walter himself has a confused look on his face. "I-I'll just accept Douglas' shrug. I don't remember how. Don't really care either. She ate my cookies. So the answer is just shrug." To prove that is the answer Walter shrugs.

"The question round is so boring I'm just going to assume Douglas got the third one correct." Walter says not looking too happy. There is really no reason. Maybe he is having man problems. "The scores are six points Douglas and zero to Bobby. I don't know how Douglas has six points, there is a possible three points in this round. Next round: Foetus Eating."

**Five Minutes Later**

Bobby is still being held up by two Mothbats, Douglas is looking at the foetus in front of him in disgust and Walter is playing ping-pong with Little Walter. It appears that Little Walter is winning although this is because the Older Walter is allowing it. Despite being an evil homicidal bastard, Walter has a soft side. Of course this only appears when Little Walter is involved.

"Aha, you win again Little Walter." Walter says trying to sound disappointed but failing. "Now why don't you go play with one half of Mother of God, the other half of Mother of God and the snotty little brat." Walter tell his younger self. Little Walter scuttles off in the direction of Alessa, Cheryl and Laura.

"The rules of this round are simple. In fact there aren't any rules." Walter says looking at Douglas and Bobby. Two new Mothbats arrive and relieve the two holding up Bobby. Walter sighs and shakes his head. "I hate those little bastards." He mumbles to himself. "All you have to do is eat that foetus and whoever swallows first wins the game."

Douglas continues to look at the foetus in front of him in disgust. After all he is not a foetus eater. He is more of a human flesh eater himself but that is another story for another day. "Isn't this Claudia's job to eat these things? What will she do without her daily foetus?" Douglas dares to asks.

Walter once again shrugs. He has been doing that a lot lately. "I don't know. Should I care? Besides I have a much more pleasent surprise in store for her." Walter says with a sinister smile on his face. He then proceeds to bursts into evil-genius-laughter. An Insance Cancer burps in the distance. Joseph Schreiber falls from out of the sky. Walter is still laughing. A Humping Ape attacks an innocent old lady. Claudia Wolfe escapes Brookhaven Hospital. Walter is still laughing.

A Closer walks onto the set while Walter is still laughing of course. The Closer says something to Douglas and Bobby and then leaves. Bobby clearly is still in stare mode, Douglas just looks disgusted. Douglas picks up the foetus with both hands and slowly brings it towards his mouth. Walter is still laughing.

As the foetus nears Douglas' mouth; Claudia Wolfe bursts onto the set out of nowhere. She charges towards the foetus in front of Bobby. She scoops it up with one hand and rams into her mouth and swallows it whole. She then pull the other foetus out of Douglas' hands and repeats what she did before. "Foetus tasty." Claudia shouts gleefully. She then leaves the studio while doing the Can-Can. Douglas stares in the direction Claudia went dumbfounded.

Walter finally stops laughing as a Closer informs him what had just happened. "Well that crazy bitch just ate the only foetuses we had. So that means Douglas wins this time." Walter looks towards Douglas. "You get to sort out Bobby."

Douglas nods. He knows what his duty is and he must do it. He walks over to Bobby and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Son..." Douglas starts and then sighs. "...being pregnant at your age is nothing you should be ashamed of and..." Douglas is giving Bobby the same speech he gave Heather not so long again. Weird duty.

With a scream Walter charges at Bobby. He tackles Bobby to the ground causing the two Mothbats to flutter away. He pulls out his trusty spoon of doomand begins to stab Bobby in the neck with it. He does this repeatedly for a few minutes before standing up once again. Then from nowhere Walter pulls out a sub-machine gun. He empties the entire clip into Bobby. If Bobby was not dead before, he most certainly is now. Bobby is dead once again.

"And now we can conclude this edition of 21 Sacraments Game Show. The studio is covered in blood. The audience is covered in blood. Douglas is covered in blood. Walter is covered in blood. It has honestly been a bloody good edition. Goodnight."

Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Stanley Coleman vs. Sein Martin

* * *

**Author Note:** I've now decided to thank each reviewer. Oh yeah and isn't the image of Claudia doing the Can-Can just funny.

**_Dholofox _**- The type that rolls on the floor. Well I hope you don't catch a cold. Very cold down there. Damn, so is my room for that matter.

_**DarkJesterKID**_ - DJ. Old buddy. Old pal. When are you getting your working on our fic? Or are you doing Dennis the Pimp first. I really want Dennis the Pimp again. He was awesome. PH's dog deserves to be known. He rocks.

_**California King**_ - I could tell you right now who will die and who will survive. I'm not going to though. Although, I do know that that character over there will die at some point.

_**Truesonofjenova**_ - Your producer screwed up. You should fire him. I heard Dahlia is the expert in that area.

_**Wolf Ravensoul**_ - Ah, you sent me e-mails! I remember all. I have to say I love that idea and I think I may do just that. After all if there can be Foetus Eating there should be Valve Spinning.


	3. Stanley Coleman vs Sein Martin

**Author Note:** It is the return of 21 Sacraments Game Show. Shout yay boys and girls. I have something important to say. Actually I don't. I'm just bored. Oh well, heres the next chapter. Think I will do another chapter of Silent Thrills 2 next. On a roll with that one. I want a pet monkey.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Silent Hill or the characters Walter Sullivan, Stanley Coleman or Sein Martin. I wonder who is going to die.

* * *

Today we find our loveable-homicidal-host in South Vale, Rose Water Park. He is currently watching the calm lake of water. In fact for some odd reason he is dressed like Maria. It would be best not to ask questions and hope for the best. After all Walter does seem to have an unnatural obession with carnage and death. That of course is why he is the host of the 21 Sacraments Game Show. That and he got a pet monkey called Boris when he signed the contract.

The reason he is at Rose Water Park is because the studio in Downtown Silent Hill is closed for maintainence. That and Bobby Randolph was quite the bleeder. He in fact is still bleeding. That though is another story for another day and has nothing to do with Walter pumping more blood into the dead boys veins. Walter also has a fetish for blood.

Between all the watching Bobby ooze blood and playing with Boris; Walter has had yet another shady meeting with Dr. Michael Kaufmann. Like last time what was said and done is unknown. Also what was said and done does not need to be known. It is not like it is anything unusual. Just your everyday shady meeting. It most certainly has nothing to do with our favourite doctor slash drug dealer being one of the contestants on the next edition.

Today the Split Head Dog have a special job. That is correct; they get to guard the entrances into Rose Water Park. This of course would explain why there is no audience. The Split Heads are doing such a good job that even the creatures who have paid to watch the show can not get in. Of course Heather Mason is here to save the day. With her trusty handgun Heather destroys most of the Split Heads. The remaining decide to have a munch on their dead friends. After all it is what they would want.

The audience slowly enters Rose Water Park. At this point Walter decides it would be best to start the show. After all he had left everything in the studio. Including his box. He did manage to remember to bring the spoon. It must have some sort of sentimental value. After all he did kill himself with that spoon. Must be extremely important.

"Welcome to another thrilling edition of 21 Sacraments Game Show." Walter says. He is still wearing Maria's clothes. The creatures of Silent Hill do not seem to be bothered by this. The few humans are trying not to laugh at him. With exception of Maria of course. She is now wearing Walter's clothes. It would seem Walter prefers everyone elses wardrobe over his own. Than again who can blame him. It is full of blood-stained trench coat after blood-stained trench coat.

"Once again I'm going to have to introduce the contestants." Walter says clearly unimpressed with having to do that job once again. If Walter had not been lazy he would not have to do this. Now of course Walter is busy cursing his lazy self. "Our first contestant has come straight from Brookhaven Hospital. He enjoys playing with freaky little dolls, writing in his diary and stalking a certain girl." Hearing this Heather cringes. "I couldn't care what you do. Here is Stanley Coleman."

Stanley Coleman appears out of nowhere; clutching one of his little homemade dolls. He scans the audience and almost immediately he spots Heather. At this point a bad case of fanboyaitis strikes poor old Stanley. Stanley is showing all the classic symtoms; drool falling from the corner of his mouth, zombie like walk and declaring his love for Heather. Slowly he makes his way towards Heather while announcing that he loves her and that he knew she would save him. Heather on the other hand is currently hiding behind a Patient. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Walter is not impressed by this. Within seonds Stanley finds himself in a straight jacket. How this happened is unknown.

"My life is shit." Walter mumbles under his breath while watching Stanley try to free himself. With a sigh Walter continues on. "Our second contestant comes from the same place as our previous contestant who died. I'm not going into detail about him because he is a loser like his friends. I killed him though. Glory to Walterman. Contestant number two is Sein Martin."

Sein Martin appears from out of nowhere. He is clutching a camera and makes no eye contact with Walter. It seems Bobby's ghost paid Sein a visit the night before. He warned Sein not to look Walter in the eyes since it would drive a man crazy. In the case of Bobby Randolph though, it would drive a man to soil himself. That last piece of information would have been best left unsaid.

Walter snarls at Sein before picking up his spoon. With the spoon in hand Walter feels he has the power of the Gods. This power gives him the confidence to carry on despite both contestants clearly lacking any form of intelligence. "First round is the question round. As we all know it contains three questions. You can only get three points in this round. Not six. Only three." Walter informs his two new victims. He still can not work out how Douglas managed to get six points in the question round. Both contestants nod their heads.

"First question. For a change it is very very hard. It is so hard that you would find it relaxing messing about with that cube in Pyramid Head's labyrinth." Walter pauses for a moment to look at both contestants. Sein is busy looking at something at the other side of park. Stanley is still trying to get out of the straight jacket. "Pyramid Head enjoys playing with the mannequins. Tell me what is Mr. Heads favourite saying?"

"Heather has an aura of beauty surrounding her." This answer clearly came from Stanley who is now busy day dreaming about Heather. Sein decides it is best to say nothing. After all he does not know the answer. In fact he does not even know who Pyramid Head is. He did die before Pyramid Head's time after all.

Walters stares at the two with a blank look on his face. "No. That is incorrect." Walter starts with a sigh. "Sein got the answer correct by staying queit. I hate you so much." Walter glares at Sein. Sein does not know but Walter is planning a most horrific death for him. This of course is not unusual. Walter planning deaths is like Santa delivering presents. It is just one of those things that goes on.

"One point to Victim 03121" Walter seems to prefer calling his victims the numbers he carved into their bodies. It is much easier to remember them by using the numbers. Walter always has had a problem with remembering peoples names. Most likely due to all the brainwashing from the cult. Possibly because brain cells died every time he saw Dahlia Gillespie. Maybe it is just because he is naturally useless at remembering names. Only God knows.

"Next question." Walter begins glaring at poor little Sein again. After all the bugger did get the answer to the last question correct. He just was not meant to. At least in Walter's mind he was not meant to. "How many Pyramid Head's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

The only response Walter receives from his question is a blank look from Sein. Stanley begins shouting how much he loves Heather and how she will save. Between each yell he gnaws on the straight jacket in an attempt to get out of it. Walter seems to be amused by Stanley's attempts of escape. This does not last long. He soon returns his cold glare back to Sein. Sein is now busy watching Stanley.

"Could have at least tried to answer the question. The answer is: One. One Pyramid Head. The James supplies lightbulbs from a can." It seems this edition is beginning to stress Walter. First of all the contestant he wants to lose is winning. Secondly both contestants are complete and utter morons. Lastly Maria's skirt keeps riding up his butt. The last two is something he could have controled. He could have wore his own clothes. The first two, on the hand, he can not control. That is something that is just too annoying for him.

"I really fucking hate the question round." With a sigh he looks at his two victims. Stanley is now having some success with the gnawing on the straight jacket. He has managed to put a small hole in it. Sein is still looking at Stanley. "Last question. Who is the mother of God?" Walter asks.

"Heather. My dear, sweet Heather." Stanley shouts between a mouthful of straigh jacket. "Oh yeah and two whores called Cheryl and Alessa." It seems Stanley is aware of what is happening around him. With his outburst done; Stanley goes back to gnawing his straight jacket. Sein points at a random monster in the audience. The monster just so happens to be Leonard Wolfe.

A smile of joy appears on Walter's face. "Stanley is correct. Which means 03121 is incorrect." Walter tries to keep the excitement from his voice but fails. He does not care though. There is still a chance Sein will lose. This result have made Walter's a hell of a lot better than it was a few moments ago. He is so happy by this that the giggle he was trying to suppress busts out. Giggling like a young school girl Walter continues. "Next round: Deflate An Insane Cancer."

**Five Minutes Later**

We find our two unfortunate contestants standing in front of two sleeping Insane Cancers. Most likely the two that have done no work at all in the last two editions. Stanley is still in his straight jacket and is still trying to gnaw his way out it. Sein is now also in a straight jacket. He does not seem too worried about being the straight jacket. In fact he is more worried about Walter. Walter is holding his trusty spoon of doom in his hand; a rather insane grin on his face. This is surely Walter's way of telling Sein "You're next!" but it could also be that he just really loves his spoon.

"The rules are simple. The first to deflate the Insance Cancer wins the game. To make things fair: I had 03121 put in a straight jacket. Hopefully he will lose." With that Walter sits on a nearby wall and watches the two contestants look at the two blobs of fat.

Stanley gives the one in front of him a small kick. The Insane Cancer does not move. Stanley gives the monster another kick and it still stays still. A small smile appears on Stanley's face. It is uncertain if what Stanley next is due to insanity or stupidity or maybe a mixture of bit. Either way it is not a wise idea to dive backwards onto a sleeping Insane Cancer. This is what Stanley does. The second Stanley lands on the creature is wakes, stands up and begins beating Stanley with it's fists. While trying to escape his certain death, Stanley knocks the Insane Cancer into a tree. Here is where the monster deflates.

Sein does pretty much the same thing as Stanley at first. Of course he does not dive on his Insane Cancer. Instead he gives his one big kick in the side and the monster awakens from its slumber. It stands up and proceeds to chase Sein around Rose Water Park. Every so often Sein would hide behind something and kick the monster as it runs past. Eventually the monster falls into the lake and floats away.

Both contestants return to Walter. Walter does not seem impressed. "The winner today is Sein Martin." It seems Sein's Insane Cancer had deflated before it floated away. This happened seconds before Stanley managed to deflate his. "Hurry up and kill the insane guy so I can go home and get drunk." Walter says shoving Sein towards Stanley.

Stanley has finally managed to free himself from the straight jacket. It is also at this point Heather cheers in the audience at Stanley's death. It is also at this point Sein makes the ultimate mistake. "She looks like a crack whore." Hearing this, Stanley is offended. He attacks Sein and begins beating him with his diary and doll. There is no hiding of the joy in Walter's eyes.

"My mistake. The winner is Stanley. There are no rules for the 21 Sacraments Game Show." With a sinister laugh Walter turns back to the fight before him and cheers Stanley on.

Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Michael Kaufmann vs. Heather Mason

* * *

****

**Author Note:** I nearly thought I'd deleted this. Thankfully I hadn't. Thank God. Anyone got any suggestions for the second round for the next chapter. Got no ideas myself.

_Kenneth Vase:_ Hiya Ken. Cybil is in fact a dirty slag. Cybil is evil. Evil evil evil. Evil as in Gordon Brown. I really hate Cybil. Death to the Cybil

_Agahnim_: Pyramid Head is actually going to get an entire chapter. He will be in chapter 11. I'll throw him in one or two chapter before then. Just for fun. Then depending on the results of chapter 11 we'll see if he can pull more stunts.

_SyberiaWinx:_ I think Walter is awesome aswell. I think he kicks ass. He really does aswell. He sure as hell kicked Eileens.

_pikinanou:_ You mean Bruce's Price Is Right? My next door neighbour always watched that when I visited her. Shame she moved. If I write more you'll keep reading. I'd much prefer lollipops. Strewberry flavour.

_TheTruesonofJenova:_ Yosa matey. If you look in my profile you're on my 'People Who Kick Ass' list. I also recommended The Pyramid Head Show to people. Oh yeah if anyone who is not this guy, GO READ PYRAMID HEAD SHOW! As I said before PH will be in chapter 11 and will likely make odd appearances before then.

_Whispers-Of-Crimson_: A genius? Why thank you. Thank you very much. I should put you in my 'People Who Kick Ass' list for that alone. I would do Eileen vs Heather but I have already randomly selected which character goes against who. Heather is in the next chapter though. Eileen is in chapter 10. I'm deciding whether or not she'll live.


	4. Doctor Michael Kaufmann vs Heather Mason

**Author Note:** This week has been very shit. Putting it nicely. So please be nice to me. I'm all sad and stuff.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Silent Hill, Walter Sullivan, Michael Kaufmann or Heather Mason. I also don't own the Pyramid Head Show that belongs to TruesonofJenova. So do the Producers.

* * *

Once again the show has been moved to another location in Silent Hill. This week Walter and his crew are in a studio next door to studio where the Pyramid Head Show is filmed. Naturally Team Sacrament is quite paranoid. With the exception of Walter who has his trusty Spoon of Doom to defend himself with. Of course if his spoon should fail him all Walter has to do is summon the ghosts of his victims and let them do his dirty work. 

In an odd turn of events there has not been any shady meeting between Walter and Dr. Kaufmann. A stange package was delivered to Walter in the early hours of the morning: most likely nothing interesting though. People have packages delivered early morning all the time.

All Walter has done since the last edition is play with his pet monkey Boris and go fishing on Toluca Lake. Fishing is Walter's favourite hobby. Of course killing and stalking come first. After a day off killing and stalking there is nothing better than sitting in a boat, with a keg of beer and a fishing rod. Very relaxing. Of course there are people that would like to spoil Walter's relaxation. Such as the producers of the Pyramid Head Show. They are just a minor inconvience.

After the carnage of the Split Head Dogs at Rose Water Part; new guard dogs were hired. The Demon Dogs from Harry Mason's adventure in Silent Hill have guard duty this time. However they are not very good at this job. Rather than keep out unwanted visitors; they have chosen to chase Harry on the streets. After all Harry is who they want to kill. They could not give a damn if the show is a success or not. The only reason they got this job in the first place is because the Closers have a phobie of the outside world. However that is another story for another day or night.

As the Demon Dogs chase Harry a large crowd of monsters and humans come charging from the studio next door. They all make a sharp turn and enter the studio where the latest edition of the 21 Sacraments Game Show is about to be filmed. The Demon Dogs then chase Harry into the studio. A few second a very annoyed Pyra enters the studio. He is either there to check on the competition or because he gets no respect. Either way nobody really cares.

On cue the annoying cheesy theme music starts to play. A few seconds later Walter appears on the set of the show. He seems to be overly joyful. In fact you could say he is extremely happy. Which with Walter's blood-stained face looks quite disturbing. He has either just been on a killing spree or has been attending to some other happy buisness. It is at this point Walter begins prancing around the set; kissing any human or monster that is in his path. He then prances to the centre of the set and stands there with a big smile on his face. He certainly looks pleased with himself.

"Hiya. Welcome to another edition of the 21 Sacraments Game Show." Walter welcomes the audience. His voice seems to be higher than usual. Almost as if he has been breathing in helium. The audience applaud and give him odd looks. However this does not discourage our happy-homcidal-host. "I love this part of the show. It is time to introduce this weeks contestants." Walter says while clapping and jumping from foot to foot.

After five minutes of this odd display of perkiness Walter finally calms down enough to introduce the first contestant. "Our first contestant today comes all the way from Alchemilla Hospital. His hobbies are drug dealing, having a hand in the birth of God and saying 'Quit screwing around'. He also likes sunsets and long walks on the beach. Please give a nice warm welcome to Doctor Michael Kaufmann."

Kaufmann walks onto the set out of breath. Afterall he did run from the studio next to be here. He had been doing his usual buisness of dealing drugs when he was caught and put on the Pyramid Head Show. He managed to escape after a series of odd occurances and crowds of monster leaving said studio. However this still has not destroyed the perkiness that seems to have gripped Walter. It is like he is high on perkiness.

"Our second contestant for today comes all the way from Daisy Villa Apartments. Her hobbies are being a Daddy's Girl, killing monsters, preventing the birth of God and being a rude little humbug to Vincent and Claudia. She also enjoys a light Springs rain and dancing naked in the forest. Please give another warm welcome to Heather Mason." Walter says as once again the audience applauds and give him odd looks. Heather appears from out of nowhere onto the set. She glances at Walter and Kaufmann before wrinkling her nose at them both. "Great. More crazy people."

"Now that isn't nice Heather. Play nice." Walter scolds Heather with mock anger in his voice. Although his voice has no longer is high. Instead it now has a slight lisp to it. "Question Round." Walter shouts with excitment. "Oh I just love the questions round. I love it. There is only a possible three points in this round. If you get six you must have cheated." Walter says with the joy of a child who has just been given ice cream.

"First question. Very easy. What is the red liquid that is thrown on Alessa?" Walter asks trying to wipe the excited smile off his face. Heather looks around blankly. Kaufmann on the other hand looks rather smug.

"The answer, Walter, is Algaophotis." Kaufmann says this as a smug smile threatens to appear on his face.

"That is the correct answer Doctor." Walter announces with so much that it makes the audience grin from ear to ear. It seems Walter's perkiness is rubbing off onto the audience. "I guess Karma came to bite Heather for being such an unhappy goose when she first came. Sorry Heather you have no points. While Michael has one point."

The audience applaudes for no reason whatsoever. Possibly due to the perky bug they appeared to have caught from Walter. While the audience continue to cheer a loud explosion can be heard in the distance. What caused the explosion is unknown. Why there was an explosion is also unknown. One thing for sure is that is could not be anything good. However the explosion went unheard by everyone in the studio.

With a boost of energy Walter springs into asking the next question of the round. "Next question. What is the colour of Harry's socks?" Heather groans loudly and rolls her eyes. She can not quite believe how stupid the question. It is below the standard of stupidity she is used to. Like naming sewer monsters Greg.

"He wears tights you moron." Heather answers. In the audience, to prove Heather correct, Harry rolls up his bell bottom trousers to reveal he is indeed wearing tights. Why Harry is wearing tights is unknown. It is something that should be left that way. It is already bad enough that the world knows he wears tights. It is also unknown why everything in Silent Hill seems to be unknown. Not like anyone actually cares though.

"Walter, I do believe he doesn't wear socks." Kaufmann answers after seeing Harry show off his tights to the world. Kaufmann is most certainly not an idiot. If he does not know the answer to something he will search for clues. Harry is an idiot. He gave the answer to Kaufmann by showing off his tights.

"Looks like Heather is still a grumpy guts." Walter once again pokes fun at Heather while continue to be unnaturally perky. "The correct answer is Harry does not wear socks. So the Doctor now has two points and Heather has none." In the audience Harry shakes a disapproving finger at Heather for getting the answer to the question. Despite being an idiot he still knows what Kaufmann done. Meaning Harry hates Kaufmann. He hates Dahlia aswell but also fears her.

As Harry begins hissing at Kaufmann; Walter springs into action once again with super perkiness. "I've ran out of questions. Boy is my face red." Walter tells his contestants; ignoring the Harry's hissing. "So we're just going to assume that you both got the answer correct. The scores are now Heather one point. Clever Heather. Three points to the Doctor. So after this round the Doctor is winning." In the audience Harry cheers for Heather.

"Next round: Hug-A-Teddy-Bear"

**Five Minutes Later**

We find Walter and the two contestants stand on the side of the set. In front of Kaufmann there are five Demon Teddy Bears. In front of Heather there is another five Demon Teddy Bears. All ten Teddy Bears are snarling and growling at the contestants in front of them. Heather eyes the five in front of her in fear. Kaufmann looks at the five in front of him. It appears they are related to Snuggles who tragically died at the hand of Harry. Kaufmann has vowed revenge for the death of his lover.

The perky Walter smiles at his two contestants. "The rules of this round are very simple, my two little sweet bees. All you have to do is hug each of the Teddy Bears. The first to hug all five, wins. Then go get some Teddy Bear hugs." Walter says joyfully. He then begins prancing around on the set once again. Whatever he had been doing before the show started has certainly lasted for a long, long time.

For Kaufmann hugging the five Teddy Bears is easy. Afterall they pretty close to being a family. They would be too if Harry and his handgun had not came along. Kaufmann gives each bear a friendly hug. Afterwards he starts a conversation about drug dealing and politics. Both drug dealing and politics are evil. So it is quite a relaxing conversation for the five Teddy Bears and Kaufmann. As was said they are pretty close to being a family.

Heather is not doing quite so well with the task of hugging a Teddy Bear. In fact she is currently running one of them. It seems the bears are not too found with Heather's attitude. So rather than being nice and friendly, they have decided to attack the teenager. At this point she has used two health drinks to heal herself. Where she got them is actually known. Harry gave them to her. He also gave her the sub-machine gun she is holding and not using. One of the bears snags the hem of her skirt. In anger, Heather whirls around and empties the clip of the sub-machine gun in the creatures. She has failed the task.

Walter sighs at the carnage before him. Kaufmann glares at Heather for killing half of his family. Heather laughs nervously and looks at the dead bears. "The round was called Hug-A-Teddy-Bear not Kill-A-Teddy-Bear. Looks like this time Doctor Michael Kaufmann is the winner. Time for Heather to die." Walter says sounding almost sad. Kaufmann pull a vial of Algaophotis out of briefcase and throws it at Heather. The vial smashes on impact with Heather. Incubus then bursts out of Heather's back; killing her instantly. This triggers the boss fight and Harry proceeds to starts shooting at the demon.

While this is happening two stange looking men enter the studio. The best way to describe them would be Albert Wesker Rejects. Actually it would be better to describe them as The Matrix Rejects but since The Matrix is not all that interesting, Albert Wesker Rejects it is. The name tags on their clothes read _'PHS Producer no.4'_ and _'PHS Producer no.5.'_ Both Rejects approach Walter who is watching the boss fight. Upon seeing the two men Pyra dives to the ground.

"Please don't let them take me to the basement of Brookhaven Hospital." Pyra begs the nearby audience memeber.

Walter turns and smiles at the men. "More Pyramid Head Show producers. I love you guys." Walter happily shouts and then proceeds to give both of them a hug. Both men give Walter an odd look. They look around the studio trying to figure out if they indeed in the correct studio. Appearances alone tell them they; the man in front of them tells them they are not.

"I think we are in the wrong studio." Producer no.5 mumbles to Producer no.4. Producer no.4 nods in agreement. "Maybe they are at the ruins of the studio Producer no.7 was. God rest his soul." With that both the producers leave Walter and the studio behind; heading towards Downtown Silent Hill.

"Goodbye" Walter shouts cheerfully after them. "See you next time on the 21 Sacraments Game Show."

Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Maria vs Joseph Schreiber. **PLUS:** Special Guests and a visit to a new location that isn't in Silent Hill.

* * *

**Author Note:** Enjoy. Hope so. Oh yeah, this does not reflect my opinon of the film The Matrix. I've only ever seen trailors for it. 

**Quick Disclaimer**: Don't own Albert Wesker or The Matrix.

**_Doctor G. Reaper:_** Next time you're on MSN we need to chat. I have a request. DJ knows about it.

**_Whispers-Of-Crimson:_** I'm going to use that idea in a future chapter. I quite like it. I just wanted this chapter to be happy fun fun since Walter is all perky and happy. Blah.

_**SyberiaWinx:**_ Glad you're still loving it. Yup, Walter rocks.

_**pikinanou:**_ Dahlia stripping. Well thats a cause for a lot of nightmares. Damn, the image is burnt into my mind. Lollipops shall cure that though. Keep dishing out the lollipops and I'll keep this fic updated. wink wink

_**DarkJesterKID**_: Yes, the awesome DJness. Val appears in chapter 20. Yes, more comics pretty please. Love to see some of this fic aswell. You are awesome.


	5. Maria vs Joseph Schreiber

Author Note: I'm back, with some cuts and bruises. Tired eyes and sore feet. College really sucks ass because I now have no time to do anything I enjoy. Except on weekends. Worst of all I get to stay there til January. I don't even want to be there. What was I doing?

Disclaimer: Don't own Walter, Joesph, Maria, Pyramid Head, Valtiel, DJ or Ken.

/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\

Another foggy day in the silent town of Silent Hill.

However in the northern parts of the town sits the lone TV studio where the award winning game show, 21 Sacraments Game Show, is about to be filmed. The usual hustle and bustle of monsters, victims and the odd human is going on. Every so often there is a loud scream of agony or possibly joy at the sight behind those dark walls.

Down one of the long, decaying hallways voices can be heard. What they are talking is for a change extremely important. For the sake of story you shall not be told what it is all about.

"Just find a replacement. It's only a God damn light bulb."

Clearly you've all been brought down the wrong hallway. So many hallways. So much like a giant maze. So easy to get lost. "Well screw you." Said the narrator as she turned and ran faster then an Olympic athlete towards a doorway that appeared out of nowhere.

Back at the set the familiar horrific theme music starts to play. The audience comes to life and starts shouting with joy. They all begins clapping whatever they have instead of hands, with the exception of the Straight Jackets who stomp their feet instead. A Ghost Baby falls down a flight of stairs, this results in Victim 12121 to burst into fits of laughter. He is really laughing at the fact that he is the American equivalent of a Chav. The Ghost Baby tells it's Ghost Baby Mother. This ends up with Ghost Baby Mother beating the unliving heck out of Victim 12121.

The audience turn their attention back towards the set. There they see something horrific. Not in a scary manner though. Instead of everyones favourite homicidal maniac, who has an unnatural obsession with his mother, are two teenage girls. Both are around the age of 15 or 16 and are dressed like they fell in a laundry basket. The audience look at the two, speechless. One of the girls nudges the other. The other girl flinches.

"Hi, I'm Ken." The flinchy girl says. "We're hosting the show because Walter is high and is running naked through a forest with Snow White and the seven dwarves." The nudging girl nods in agreement.

"I'm DJ." Nudging girl introduces herself. "And Gorillaz rock!"

In the audience Pyramid Head shakes his pyramid back and forth in disagreement. He pulls a piece of cardboard from under his seat and begins scribbling something on it. Once finished he holds it up to show everyone. Written on the cardboard is: 'Gorillaz Suck Poo.'

Rather then taking the mature option of ignoring Pyramid Head, nudging girl, now known as DJ, chooses to insult him. "Pyramid Head is Valtiel's bitch."

Once again Pyramid Head pulls out a piece of cardboard and begins scribbling on it. He then another piece and does the same. He does this three more time before showing what he wrote. He holds up the first piece of cardboard. DJ reads it out.

"Valtiel lives in an air ventilation system with a smelly sock called Boris." Not being able to think of a decent comeback DJ says the first thing that comes to mind. "Valtiel pwns!"

Pyramid Head holds up a piece of a cardboard. Written on is: 'Pwns is not a word.'

DJ begins prancing and starts singing in a childish voice. "I like humping straight jackets and demons because I'm ever so horn-ny." She stops and gives Pyramid Head a cocky smile.Pyramid Head crosses his arms in anger and ignores her.

Meanwhile in a forest God knows where Walter is talking to a blue bird. Every so often he picks a blossom off the tree the bird is in. He then puts the blossom in his hair. He happily hums to himself as some rabbits hop passed him.

Back at the studio DJ and Ken are finally ready to bring out this weeks guests. This was brought on with the threat of no pizza and coke. Now they have been given no choice but to follow the script or feel the wrath of the producer.

Ken takes to the front of the stage to introduce the first guest. "Today's first contestant comes straight from Heaven's Nights strip bar. She's a dirty little whore. Her hobbies include being a whore, entering some crazy guy's mansion, playing with James and being a whore. Today's first contestant is Maria."

Maria come walking out and all the monsters, victims and the odd humans begin drooling. This may be because she has forgotten to put her clothes on. Or maybe because James had taken her clothes in the divorce settlement. He was not too impressed when he discovered she was indeed a demon. "Don't you want to touch me?"

Before the audience can react to question, DJ butts in. "Shut up. We don't have time for chit chat. Pyramid Head wasted ten minutes arguing with me." DJ says while keeping an eye on Pyramid Head who is looking around innocently. "Tonight's other contestant comes straight from 302. He likes to hang from ceiling, post notes under people's doors and digging up graves. Tonight's second guest is Joesph Schreiber."

Joseph drops from the ceiling landing in the centre of the set. He slowly stands up, cracking the joints in his arms and legs. He looks around the studio and sighs with relief upon seeing that Walter is not there ready to kill again. Most certainly one of the best moments of his afterlife.

The question on everyone's minds is: Is it possible to kill someone who is already dead? To answer that question one would have to look over countless bits of information and in the end come to the conclusion that are indeed thick.

"Okay, first thing first." Announced Ken, while DJ searched for the mystery voice that was rambling about the question. "To get to the question round you have to do my maths homework." With that she holds up a notebook and a textbook. In the textbook there is equations that even Einstein himself would not be able to answer.

**Meanwhile in the forest**

A naked Walter is staring up a tree. In the tree is a ginger cat hissing and clawing at the air. Deciding the cat is grump and needs rescuing, Walter begins climbing the tree, somehow avoiding the wasp nest that is in the tree. Climbing onto the branch with cat, he carefully walks towards it. He tries to get hold of the cat. The cat on the other hand has other ideas. As Walter's hand nears the cat, the cat lashes and scratches Walter's hand. This leaves three thin lines of blood coming from the new wound on Walter's hand.

"Oh, that's right." Walter laughs and then grabs the cat. What happens can not be told because people against animal cruelty would take offense to it. After the carnage, Walter and tree branch are covered in blood. "I have a feeling two teenage brats are ruining my show." Walter jumps from the tree and runs, scaring a couple of campers. Whether it is because he is naked or because he is covered in blood is questionable. Possibly both.

**Back at the studio**

Ken is currently looking at the answers in the notebook that she gave our two latest victims. A educated guess would say she doesn't know the answers herself. In fact it is very likely. DJ appears to be starstruck. This is most likely the case since Valtiel is busy playing with Fukuro. Why Fukuro is even there is not known and nobody should ask.

"Right, I don't know the answers." Ken quickly says and answers the question that was on the pissed off producers mind. "So I'm going to say you got them right. Means you get to move onto the question round." Ken nods her head and begins prodding DJ with a broom that has appeared out of nowhere.

"First question." Ken announces while still prodding DJ with the broom. "If Kaufmann sells 3kg of PTV to Walter a week, how long would it take for Walter to get here from the forest where he just brutally murdered a poor kitty? Odd question."

Joseph looks thoughtful. He then leaves the studio. A vote within the audience says 3 think he is going to research, the rest think he is taking a toilet break. If there were any rules, no doubt this would be against them. This leaves Maria looking rather stupid. She was hoping to win the game by acting like a whore.

Maria's eye begins to twitch and then she loses her patience. "How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to that? And where the hell did that weird guy go?" Most people would come up with a sarcastic comeback to that, Walter would start thinking of hundreds of ways to kill this woman. Ken is different; she hides under a nearby desk. Joseph re-enters the studio out of breath. The answer is four minutes and twenty-one seconds or right after you ask the third question."

Ken looks over the desk and nods her head, agreeing that that is the correct answer. She then passes out from fear. DJ's starstruck state ends at this point. "I have a question, I have a question. Why does Valtiel's head bounce about so much?"

"Drugs." Both Maria and Joesph answer in unison.

"Correct." DJ says. Valtiel then raises his arms and acts like he is about to say something. DJ sees this and takes it as something else. To be precise a marriage proposal. "Valtiel wants to marry me." With that DJ dives towards the poor monster and hugs him tightly. She doesn't seem appear to be letting him go anytime soon.

Ken appears to have recovered and is ready to ask the next question. "Final question. What is the name of Victim 11121?" As soon as the question is out Joseph's answer is proved to be correct. Walter enters the studio and heads straight towards the set. He stands in the centre in all of his naked glory. This sends a chorus of cheers through the audience and a few whistles from the females and Bob the Mannequin.

Both Maria and Joseph point to Walter to answer their question. "Incorrect. Victim 10121 was Eric Walsh. So no points." Walter says happily.

"Actually they're right. Victim 11121 was Walter Sullivan." Ken says proudly. Walter turns to her. "You're the 22nd Sacrament." Quicker than the blink of an eye Ken is gone.

"The current scores are one point to Maria and two to Joesph. I really hate him." Walter mumbles and curses. With a sigh he continues on. "Next round: Numb Body Racing."

**Ten minutes later**

On one of the nights when he was high, Walter built himself a throne. He then later moved it to the studios. Now it is standing proud in front of the track for the Numb Body Racing. In his naked glory, Walter is sitting on the throne. It seems he has gotten in touch with nature and then brutally slaughters any of its creatures.

Currently our two victims are sitting on the backs of two giant Numb Bodies. The Numb Bodies are making noises that sound like horses with breathing problems. Neither contestant looks to happy. Joseph seems slightly more uncomfortable since the Numb Body he is on has been starved and is currently trying to attack him. This was most likely arranged by Walter. In fact, most certainly was since Walter is looking at said Numb Body with pride.

"The rules for this game are simple. The first over the finish line wins. If you fall off the Numb Body you lose. If your Numb Body dies due to starvation, you lose. There are severed limbs on the track. Numb Bodies will try and eat them. You also get weapons to hit the other contestant off their Numb Body. And if you kill your Numb Body you lose." Walter says praying the entire time that a certain victim will lose.

A foghorn signals for the race to begin. Both Numb Bodies begin walking around the track. Joseph's Numb Body is still trying to attack while its walking. Maria however is having no luck with her own Numb Body. It is stopping at the limbs and begins eating. Maria begins hitting across the head with her metal pipe.

Joseph has managed to find a better use for his stick. He was given a stick to use as a weapon. As he and his Numb Body pass Maria, Joseph ties a severed limb to the end of the stick. He then swings in front of the Numb Body. Instead of attacking Joesph, the Numb Body now tries to get the Limb. The Numb Body stops, its body starts shaking violently before it topples onto its side, dead. Walter, on his throne, is currently laughing happily at this.

Maria's Numb Body has no moved from the severed limb and is moving towards the dead Numb Body. It makes an odd noise and sits next to the dead Numb Body. This aggravates Maria and she begins hitting it with the pipe again. The first hit kills it. Maria stares at her Numb Body before giving it a kick in the head. Walter is no longer laughing.

"I hate to say it but Joseph wins this time." With that Walter leaves the set in a huff. He is most likely going to 302 to tell mummy how the big mean Joseph wouldn't play his game. A rock falls from the ceiling and lands on top of Maria. Joseph leaves the studio to enjoy his new found freedom.

Next Time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Jasper Gein vs Claudia Wolfe.


	6. Jasper Gein vs Claudia Wolfe

**Author Note**: No net make Admiral Blueberry lose her blueberries. One of the guys at college is right pervert. If he comes near me I'll be sure he can never reproduce.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Walter Sullivan, Claudia Wolfe, Jasper Gein, Hitler, Germany, England, Spain, and chocolate milk thanks to Jasper.

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\

Yet another overcast, foggy day in the supposedly beautiful resort town of Silent Hill.

Today we find everyone's favourite homicidal maniac at the lighthouse in the resort area of the quiet town. Since we last saw Walter he has done a lot. He has had five law suits filed against him, been on trial for murder at least eighteen times, danced with cute fluffy animals when not high, and sold his monkey to the circus. The monkey had rabies. The question is what does Walter plan to do next with his life.

Currently Walter is getting a manicure from one of the Patient Demons. How it can actually do that is quite the mystery. After all this acid spewing beasts arms are melted onto it's body. No-one can really complain though. Both beast and murderer appear to be quite content. Too content. Could they be brewing up something evil? Most likely as a round two for today's contestants has not been thought up yet.

A crowd of zombies are slowly shuffling their way over to the quiet lighthouse. At the speed they are going they will reach the lighthouse once the 21 Sacraments have been completed. One other thing; if you are not worried about those zombies, maybe you should think again. Silent Hill may have more than its fair share of odd creatures but zombies are not. Exactly what they are doing in town is unknown. They possibly shuffled over from the next town over. Maybe Ashfield or Brahams. Possibly from another zombie infested town like Newcastle or the White House, it is like a mini town, or some other random zombie infested city.

Today's audience have taken their places. They are singing songs of praise to their God, whatever that may be. Is is Sameal or Incubus, or maybe that huge thing Heather killed. Whatever it is, it does not matter unless Claudia Wolfe is in the room, in that case worship it like you do your collection of porn.

As the audience continues to sing their praise, Walter takes his place in front of the audience. As usual Walter has that smile on his face. The one that says that he has something evil planned. Something so evil that it can not be described. In his right hand he carrying his trusty spoon of doom. It appears to be dripping with fresh blood. This means he has either been digging it into his own neck or someone else's. Most likely the latter since there are some Sniffer Dogs doing whatever they do to a recently deceased. In his other hand he is carrying what appears to be brochures.

"I'm going on holiday." He says waving about the holiday brochures. "First I'm going to Germ Army. I'm going to bring back some incurable disease and have dinner with Adolph Hitler, but keep that last part secret. Everyone thinks he's dead, but he's going to make a comeback along with Elvis and 2pac." His smile widens. "And then I'm going to go to Ingaland. Did you know Britain is in Ingaland? There I'm going to ride the Tube with a rucksack. I've heard the police go nuts for that sort of thing there. Finally I'm going to go to S Pain. I think the 'S' stands for 'sadistic' which means Sadistic Pain. They just censor the sadistic part. I heard they want to censor this show. That really f... " The next line from Walter has been censored by Harry Mason's Censorship to Prevent Violence in Young Children (HMCPVYC.)

Before Walter can go into another rant about censorship the voice of the Haunted Borley Mansion takes over to introduce this weeks contestants. He was rehired on the basis no-one else would take the job. Not even Henry who was offered freedom if he took the job. That came straight from Walter's mouth. Once again Henry has been locked in his room. This time it is because he can't find his keys. Which is pretty close to what happened last time.

"Welcome to the Haunted Bor... I mean the 21 Sacraments Game Show." the Borley voice says. "This months first contestant will take an hour just to answer a simple question. He also holds the world record for length of time to drink a bottle of chocolate milk. Be prepared to laugh since he is still a virgin, it's Jasper Gein."

As the audience burst into roars of laughter, Jasper walks sheepishly towards the set where Walter is waiting. Jasper turns to face the audience. "I'm n-n-n-no-no-not a vir-vir-vir-virgin." This is only makes the audience laugh harder. Jasper sighs and looks towards Walter. With a shrug he walks over to the other side of the set. If you look closely at Walter you can see he is fighting the urge to go kill Jasper.

The Haunted Borley Mansion voice returns. "It's time to meet our second contestant for today." He says with a hint of excitement. "She is a true follower of our God. She enjoys running by the lake naked, and doing the can-can. Our second contestant for today is Claudia Wolfe." A chorus of cheers and whistles. Some fireworks are set off by some of the monsters. Another monster waves a banner saying _Claudia Wears My Socks!_; whatever that may mean.

Can-can music begins playing as can-can dancers enter the studio from all four entrances. The dancer do their dance at the sides of the audience while Walter gleefully claps his hands in time with the music. There is a Robbie the Rabbit in the middle of the dancer doing something that is quite unmentionable. He is a naughty rabbit. With a cloud of smoke Claudia appears in the centre of the set. If there was awards that went with the 21 Sacraments Game Show; Claudia would win Best Entrance. Walter begins doing the can-can with the dancers. This continues for at least ten minutes and yet the audience do not seem to mind.

With everyone calmed down from all the excitement the show can finally begin. Walter takes his usually place in front of both contestants. Before speaking he clears his throat. "The first round is the question round. It's very simple. Answer a question correctly. It's possible to get three points in this round; one point for each correct answer. The first of today's round is if Harry runs north on Bachman Road, James runs south on Midwich Street, and I kill Henry on Bloch Street; how long will it take for them to discover the corpse?"

Jasper waves his hand in the air. It appears he knows what the answer is. Walter ignores him and gives his spoon a hug. Claudia looks at Jasper and smiles at him. Quite a sadistic looking smile it is. "1 minute. God lead them there on the path to paradise where there is no hatred, no suffering." Claudia. Jasper gives her a dirty look.

"Correct." Walter says. "The next question is why is the pus and blood oozing through the walls? My God, it's getting on my shoes. This is the third time today. Maybe I should see a doctor."

Claudia's eye is twitching. Possibly because she feels that Walter was mocking God, or possibly because she has just remembered she forgot to turn her oven off. Jasper is busy examining his shoes for some reason. It appears he has not even heard the question. Claudia's eye twitches again. "It is the PTV. That's why the walls are oozing pus and blood." Claudia answers.

Walter nods his head. "Yeah. Sure. That's the answer. How about we say Claudia wins this round because the monsters are going to attack any second now." Before anyone can agree with the suggestion he runs off to find his gun.

There is shuffling sound before a voice is heard. "Next round: Trashcan Hopping. First a word from Harry Mason."

Harry is sitting at a table with a serious look on his face. To his left is Cheryl drawing in her Drawing Block. To his right is Heather's corpse wearing a party hat and holding a martini. It appears they have been celebrating Heather's birthday.

"Are you tired of your child beating you over the head?"

An image of James being beat across the head with a large stick by Laura is shown. James is begging her to stop.

"Tired of having to pull you drunk child out of a fight and carry them home?"

An image of Walter carrying a drunk Little Walter is shown.

"Or just damn sick of your child stepping out in front of cars?"

An image of Alessa stepping in front of Harry's jeep is shown. Harry plows her down.

"Then why not donate money to Harry Mason's Censorship to Prevent Violence in Young Children today. There is no money back guarantee if this should not work out. Our aim is to control your children and later recruit them. To donate today just call this number 0800 giveharrymoney. Remember violence is wrong."

Cheryl spills glue onto Harry's lap. Harry looks down, his face goes red with anger. The screen cuts back to lighthouse.

"Violence is wrong my arse. He's the worst of them all for violence." Walter mumbles, standing next to a Pendulum. Some Mothbats come fluttering and hover near the Pendulum.

"Welcome back." Walter says while holding up a bag of white powder. "I went to Kaufmann and he gave me a bag of VTP to reverse the effects of the PTV." Walter walks over the edge of the lake where Jasper and Claudia are. The Pendulum and the Mothbats follow behind. In the lake there are trashcans as far as the fog will let one see.

"I have spent the last three months creating a new game and ordering piranhas from abroad." Walter says while smiling happily about his new pets. "The new game is called Trashcan Hopping. Like usual the rules are simple. You have to get from here to the Lakeview Hotel with the aid of the trashcans which are currently sinking. The first to the other side wins. You'll also be aided by either a Pendulum or two Mothbats. To decide who get which creature a coin shall be flipped. Heads Claudia gets the Pendulum, tails the stuttering freak gets the Pendulum." Walter flips. It lands on tails.

Both contestants are off.

Walter looks thoughtful then smiles as if he knows something Jasper and Claudia. "I forgot to mention I put my piranhas in the lake." Walter shrugs and decides to head to the hotel.

Meanwhile, on the lake, the Mothbats are proving to better at the aiding than the Pendulum. The Mothbats are gripping onto Claudia's dress and bouncing her off each trashcan. Claudia seems quite happy with this. So far none of the piranhas have had a nibble at her. She must be heavy though, both Mothbats are looking tired and are not flying so high.

Jasper is not doing too good at all. He found out the hard that there are piranhas in the lake. The Pendulum has proven to be useless. The times that it has bothered to help Jasper, Jasper has been flung thirty feet away from where the trashcans are floating. Currently Jasper is swimming away from piranhas. The Pendulum decides to take action. The Pendulum lifts Jasper out of the water. Within less than a second Jasper is flung in the direction of Claudia. Jasper crashes into Claudia, the Mothbats lose their grip on her. Both end up in the drink with a school piranhas swimming over to them.

Claudia screams and begins splashing and jumping on Jasper. The jumping on Jasper is intentional. She jumps out of the water and sprints across its surface; hopping over trashcans as she goes. Looks like Claudia should have been the mother of God, not Alessa. Within minutes she is at the front of the Lakeview Hotel. A few seconds later Jasper crashes through one of the hotel's windows after being flung by the Pendulum again. A few seconds later he comes out of the doors of the hotel, covered in cuts and bruises.

Walter walks over to his two contestants. He looks at Jasper. "No need to be cut up about it. You're only going to die." Walter laughs at his own bad joke. Jasper rolls away from him. Instead of rolling to safety he rolls into the lake. In the lake the piranhas are having a great feast.

"This month's winner is Claudia Wolfe."

The can-can dancers and begin dancing. Walter joins them.

Next time on 21 Sacraments Game Show: Andrew DeSalvo vs. Mary Shephard-Sunderland

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\

_Author Note_: Sorry took so long for an update. Been busy with college. Trying to find a way to get out before January. Anyway, Trashcan Hopping was inspired by watching too much Takeshi's Castle. I really, really love that show. Although 21 Sacraments Game Show makes that show look tame.


End file.
